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A Real Guide
by Brenda Retzlaff |
Things That Make You Say…hmmm?
| Guidebooks are great, and they really helped me with my first trips to Puerto Vallarta. I actually purchased or borrowed every guidebook available about the area and found that almost every guidebook or website had the just about the same information. Out of 900 restaurants in the area, the guidebooks maybe covered 30. Of all the hotels, maybe 25 were mentioned. While useful for my first trip or two to Vallarta, looking back, I felt they didn't clue me into the more subtle things that make traveling to foreign lands so mysterious. ...And the waste paper basket is for....? I wanted something that filled me in on interesting facts, insights into the culture, or "things to do" or "not to do", and helpful hints to make my vacation wonderful, or answered "those" questions I was afraid to ask. I am not sure that guide book exists, so instead, I'll just pass on some info to you that I wish I would have known before. Bolsitas  Cellophane lunch bags or Baggies, these little clear bags have multiple clever uses here in Vallarta. One of the most ingenious uses is a "Mexican drink box". Visit any juice stand in the morning and ask for "jugo de naranja para llevar por favor" (orange juice "to go", please) and the juice maker will freshly squeeze the oranges and place the juice in a plastic baggie, place a straw inside, adeptly swing it around to close it up and secure with a rubber band. Off you go with freshly squeezed orange juice in a spill-proof, bee and insect-proof and economical container.These little bags are also used to make containers of "to go" homemade salsas and sauces. Just tear a hole in the corner and squeeze to add sauce to a taco, salad, or hamburger. If you have children, this is a handy trick to learn for at home, saves on washing plastic cups! To flush or not to flush… Standard rule in Puerto Vallarta is to not flush toilet paper down the toilet. You will see signs posted in many bathrooms as a reminder. While this is not always the case, it is a pretty standard rule of thumb. Just use the wastebasket next to the toilet even if you hear Martha Stewart's voice inside your head telling you this is not a "good thing". There are many reasons for not flushing TP and they vary depending on the area, but the common reasons are: the pipes aren't equipped for large amounts of paper and the water pressure is pretty low in most areas. I know it is hard getting used to doing this, but once you do, it will be a hard habit to break the first day back home! Pay for...toilet paper?  Since we are on the subject of bathrooms, it is common to have to pay to use a public restroom. Places like PeMex (the gas station company throughout Mexico), public beaches, rest areas and places with signs advertising "Baño!" will normally charge 2 or 3 peso entrance fee. What you are paying for is a few sheets of paper and the person who takes care of the facility and keeps it clean. Some of these places range from "just like home" to "run for your life!" If it is an emergency and you need a restroom immediately, you can usually ask permission from a business, restaurant or shop. Normally, the bathrooms are reserved for patrons, so it would be polite to offer to buy a soda or something or at least offer a tip. This is a small price to pay to be saved from embarrassment. You will find bathrooms labeled a couple of different ways. Caballeros or Hombres is for MEN, and Mujeres or Damas is for WOMEN. If you come across bathrooms only labeled with a sun or a moon- the sun (sol) is for men as it is a masculine word in Spanish and the moon (luna) is for women and is a feminine word. Cobblestone streets  Aren't they neat? Aren't they quaint? Yes, they absolutely are, and they are part of Vallarta's charm. Cobblestone streets are one of the best examples of using natural resources for an inexpensive and functional thoroughfare, but, they can be a wee bit dangerous if you aren't paying attention. While it is important to see as much as possible of Vallarta, it is just as important to watch where you are going. This includes sidewalks, curbs and on the beach. A sprained ankle or "fall from grace" can ruin a vacation, so keep your eyes peeled for obstacles! Also, proper walking shoes are a must pack item for trekking around the town.If you want to stroll along some of the finest cobblestone streets in Vallarta, be sure to check out the streets in Gringo Gulch. Some of the most popular hotels are in the Zona Romantica area south of the Rio Cuale and downtown Puerto Vallarta on and near the cobblestone streets of Olas Altas and Amapas. If you'd like to stay in this funky and quaint area, there are plenty of great accommodations for Mexican atmosphere in a reasonable to economical price range. Going north into Nuevo, you lose much of the traditional Mexican charm and the roads turn into pavement or asphalt, which is great if you like to roller blade or jog while on vacation.  One thing you should always remember when walking in Vallarta, please, please, please, look before you walk out into the road, and always look both ways before crossing the street. There are not the same pedestrian laws here as in the States and Canada, and the people driving to work, or driving the taxis, buses, delivery trucks and cars cannot stop a vehicle as fast as you can stop your feet. So, cross with caution or with the traffic police, and if you are unsure about crossing, definitely make eye contact with the driver before getting in front of anything with wheels. Quizas and Cucarachas  Scientists around the world are still trying to unravel the mystery of how geckos can stick to just about anything, and it has nothing to do with sticky goo on their feet, it is a molecular atomic thing much too scientific for me.  Here in Vallarta, you will probably encounter at least one gecko, and this may be in your hotel room! Do not fear! Geckos, known as "quizas" in Spanish, are our friends. They eat mosquitoes and are 100% harmless. They are far more scared of you than you should be of them. As a matter of fact, they have a natural defense mechanism built into their cute little tail. If a predator gets a hold of them by their tail, the tail will more than likely come off, leaving the rest of the gecko to scamper away escaping death. Don't worry, in time, the tail grows back.Another creature roaming Vallarta is the cucaracha. Not nearly as cute as a gecko, the cockroach is a semi-common visitor in the summer months and mostly dormant in the winter months. All hotels, restaurant and other locations go to great lengths to fumigate for these buggers. While not attractive by any means, they are harmless. Any tropical and not-so-tropical climate unfortunately is prone to these insects but chances are likely you won't see one the entire trip. Castles in the sky It seems that almost every house in Vallarta has rebar (metal tubes) springing up from the rooftops. (which isn't true, but once you notice something it seems you focus on that, and then, well, then you see it everywhere) These, quite simply are "dreams". Here in Mexico, you won't find mortgages and home improvement loans. People save their money until they have enough saved up to start building their dream home, usually one level at a time over a span of years. They leave the rebar in place so that when they have saved money for the next floor, they can add another story without having to add in the expense of reinstalling rebar for the next level. Also, there is a price break on property taxes for houses that are "incomplete", so some rebar sticking out the top of the house can save a few pesos when the tax man comes around to collect. So, while it may seem that people start a job here and never finish it, there is a reason for the rebar madness…dreams for another level. Tacos, quesadillas and burritos  Real tacos, quesadillas, burritos and other Mexican specialties are a lot different from their northern "Taco Bell" counterparts. Tacos here are usually a soft corn tortilla with some grilled and diced meat, some whole beans and a dash of shredded cabbage and a sprinkle of a soft flavorful cheese. Quesadillas are normally a flour tortilla with some melted cheese. You can ask for meat, chicken, mushrooms or other items to be added to your taste. After you are served, you add the heat. Choose from mild to inferno strength sauces, or cilantro and avocado sauce, radishes and more. Of course, there are tons of taco stands and variations of the taco, the quesadilla, sope, torta, burrito or other specialties. You will not find the ground hamburger, shredded lettuce, cheddar cheese, and sour cream tacos here in Mexico. Montezuma's Revenge Taco stands are known for one other thing that mystifies most people; they don't take your money until after you are finished eating. Most people dining at a taco stand will order a couple of items, eat, and if they want more they order more. When you are finished eating and go to pay for the tacos, they will ask you what you ordered. Kind of like the "honor system". Of course, you could cheat and say one less taco or one less tostada, but then that would be bad karma and you would probably have to deal with Montezuma's Revenge. Some taco stand tips: Look for locals-The more people eating, the better the food and reputation it has. Check cleanliness- Make sure the cook isn't the cashier! The plates are disposable, or are covered with a new protective "sleeve". When you order your food, if you want everything on it, ask for "con todo", if you want it without an item such as onions, say "sin cebollas" or "sin chile" (peppers). When the order is ready, sit down and enjoy! Provecho! You pay for your meal after you have eaten. If you have room for another taco or beverage, go ahead and order, before you leave, ask for "la cuenta" and they will tell you how much you owe. Taco stands are some of the best and most economical places to grab a quick bite to eat. Some of my favorite taco and food stands: Marisma Fish Taco (2 locations) Naranja between Basilio Badillo and Venustiano Carranza. The Marina on Popa. Open 10-5, best deep fried fish and shrimp tacos! Memo's Tacos Corner of Aguacate and Basilio Badillo. Open at night, closed Mondays. Try the Bin Laden (shrimp) or George Bush (beef) burrito. Excellent quesadillas and Memo speaks English. Pepe's Tacos Across from the PemEx gas station on Honduras. Open late. They also have tacos al pastor. Parque Hidalgo Stands and Booths (Durning re-constructrion the food sands are located at the start of the Malecón, next to Hotel Rosita) Deep fried bananas and crepes Feed your sweet-tooth with these wonderful delights, Just go to Parque Hidalgo at the start of the Malecon And smell your way to the deep fried banana stand or the homemade crepes. Heavenly!  Señor Carillo Juice StandCorner of Aguacate and Basilio Badillo Fresh cut coconuts and coconut water, fresh squeezed orange and carrot juice. He doesn't speak much English, but he is super nice and has a winning smile, and of course, great juice! |
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